Me: I love how this lego tiger has eyebrows.
Becca and Callie: (in unison) It has a butthole.
Me: I love how that’s the one thing you guys say to me in unison as a response, without missing a beat.
Becca and Callie: (once again in unison) It’s a pink flower.
Fab: Never have I ever taken DICK before.
Becker: Oh, what drug is that?
Becca: Oh. My. God. There is a Bridgerton season two!
Me: Did you watch season one?
Becca: No.
Me: I had two chips and saw they contained milk ingredients.
Becca: It’s like… violence. An act of violence. Truly. It’s criminal.
Becca: We could make jungle juice.
Me: And call it polyjuice potion!
Becca: (stares) Is… that… Harry—
Me: Yeah, it’s Harry Potter.
Becca: I’ll just do whatever’s easiest. And Guy Fieri does not sound like an easy costume to make.
Becca: SHUT —and I can’t stress this enough— UP.
Becca: No opinion is as honest as an Asian parent’s.
Becca: There’s so many people trying to sneak into Canada.
Me: Are you serious?
Becca: I saw a clip of these protests at the border, let me find it.
Becca: Oh my god, wait MY BAD LOL. It was for a different protest. Shit, I’ve become one of those aunties that spreads misinformation on WeChat.
Becca: (looks at photo) …what IS that?
Me: That’s us uncorking wine in matching shirts.
