Me: Apparently it’s bad luck if you cheers with water.

Andy: I don’t give a fuck.

Andy: They do weird things.

Me: Like orgy weird?

Andy: One of the girls has a jar of her own tears.

Andy: I’m like, a 6? Where 12 is blackout?

Me: Oh, so like 50% there.

Andy: I don’t think it’s linear.

Me: Ohhh……….

Andy: You ever like a comment on YouTube by accident then unlike it’cause you don’t want anyone to know you were part of that weird-ass ecosystem?

Me: So apparently it’s Pisces season and Mercury’s in retrograde.

Andy: What do I do with this information?

Andy: Sometimes meltdowns are cathartic! But I guess it’s a gamble on rising from the ashes or, you know, spiraling, no biggie.

Me: I’m looking at all-inclusive resorts in Mexico.

Andy: What colour grapes though?

Me: Both, I’m not a racist.

Andy: Oh, I am. Red grapes matter.

Andy: I made an anagram of your name.

Me: What is it?

Andy: Anus chair. (“anis chair”)

Me: …

Andy: Feel free to chair-ish it.

Andy: Pun intended.