Andy: What colour grapes though?
Me: Both, I’m not a racist.
Andy: Oh, I am. Red grapes matter.
Tag Archives: Andy
Andy: I made an anagram of your name.
Me: What is it?
Andy: Anus chair. (“anis chair”)
Me: …
Andy: Feel free to chair-ish it.
Andy: Pun intended.
(on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)
Andy: I binged it in a day while having “If Everyone Cared” by Nickelback on repeat and I cried when Hagrid was carrying Harry’s seemingly dead body.
Andy: Weird shit, fam.
Andy: Not sobbing, more like on singular extremely manly tear.
Andy: Don’t forget that part.
Me: Have you ever been sorted? Wait, did you read Harry Potter?
Andy: Of course. I AM A CULTURED MAN.
Andy: Did I tell you I got a bug bite on [my] knee in Italy?
Andy: And my body reacted with a massive boil/blister.
Andy: Anyway, I got a doctor to drain it and now I’m on antibiotics hahaha HAHAHA ha
Me: Oh my god. I want to ask if you’re okay, but clearly something is very wrong. Do you need help?
Andy: It’s fine.
Andy: IT’S FINE.
Andy: I’m fine.
Andy: Not all the problems in the world are yours to bear.
Me: Do you like Great Good Okay Fine?
Andy: Did you have a stroke or did I have a stroke?
Andy: It’s everyday, bro.
Andy: I regret saying that already.
Me: January 2019 move-in, I’m assuming?
Andy: My lease starts in eight days. LOL.
Me: LOL.
Andy: It’s fine.
Andy: It’ll be fine.
Andy: It’s fine.
Me: I’ve never heard “drop that ass on the floor” sung so melodically.
Andy: Romance has never been more alive.
My Friends Say Things 