Me: Do you want me to cyber bully him for you?
Fab: No, he already has one.
Me: Oh, how was the dinner?
Deshi: They were all rich. So it was like, “hahaha, golf, hahaha!”
Ivy: Just so you know, Kubi is well taken care of. Sitting like a king. And I’m the throne.
Fab: I’m on Chinese manufacturing live TikTok again.
Deshi: Anyway, I asked him if he would be okay with waking up at 4 am on some days.
Me: Do you want your relationship, yes or no?
Andy: What do you think of the gouda?
Scott: It’s good-a.
Quyen: I’m the worst Asian stereotype. I’m bad at math but amazing at parallel parking.
Dilsher: Never have I ever NOT bribed a government official before.
Me: Wait, there’s a story here.
Ava: Do you like me still, even though I’m scary now?
Me: Oh, you were scary before.
On her nephew
Callie: He’s a schemer because he’s interested in money, so I respect that.
Callie: He buys gum from Costco and sells it to the kids at school. He even has subscription packs for kids that wants gum regularly. He’s like, “I sell them for less than the convenience store so they buy them from me.”
My Friends Say Things 