Yi: Maybe therapy should be her next date.
Becca: (Watching the Chris Rock special) I haven’t seen him in a while, he looks less goofy.
Andy: Yeah, you tend to look that way after you get slapped.
Me: As if the banks collapsing wasn’t enough.
Becca: Oh my god, I forgot about that.
Me: You know who didn’t forget?
Becca: Who?
Me: The banks.
Me: I’m assuming they also go by they/them now?
Fab: No, she just cut her hair short.
Val: So my mom, my sister and I have a new obsession, which is Thousand Pound Sisters.
Deshi: Is it the one where the sisters sit on the couch and yell at each other?
Val: Yes.
Yi: Toronto mans be like, “I know a spot,” and it’s Terroni.
Me: Oh yeah, how are your loud neighbours?
Fab: Did I tell you about the piss disk?
Andy: Yeah Alvin, if you didn’t get stomach-pumped, they wouldn’t be getting married right now.
Fab: Is she a Taurus?
Reb’s Boyfriend: No, she’s Cambodian.
Me: What’s the worst material to make a toilet with?
Me: Paper. Hay.
Becca: Bread… Bread.
My Friends Say Things 