Becca and me: (sings sad lyrics)
Sanila: I can’t fall asleep because my farts smell bad.
Sanila: I needed to interject.
Me: Is that hoe-y of me?
Timmy: No, it’s 2018.
Timmy: That’s my excuse for everything.
Iris: Where are those shot glasses I bought for you from Peru?
Kevin: Oh, okay!
Flora: Which one?
Me: This one.
Flora: Okay good, that one looks like a seagull.
Jenn: Yeah, just play the dumb card. Then they’re usually like, “oh she’s just book-smart,” and I’m like jokes, I’m not book-smart either.
Fabienne: You dodged a bullet.
Fabienne: You dodged a truck.
Fabienne: A bullet truck.
Fabienne: A bullet train.
Jeff: Well, any murderer in the city is gonna be close to you with THAT attitude!
Quyen: The only way out is through, girl.
Mojan: He was the WORST professor! He was like 105 and during our 30% presentation, he fell asleep. We took a picture of him while we were presenting.
(tasting red wines)
Me: Mine is medium-bodied and fruity.
Timmy: Mine is very oaky.
Me: I don’t know what that means.
Timmy: Me neither.
My Friends Say Things 