Irisa

Me: A bird flew into the back of my head this morning. I thought someone threw a rock at me, but there was no one there.

Kanu: (takes and holds my hand) I worry about you sometimes. I really worry.

Justin: Yeah, my mom told me to get a perm.

Me: Why?

Justin: She was like, “Your hair needs some Korean in it.”

Me: I’m becoming YOU!

Mom: (nods solemnly)

Ally: I got mansplained to.

Me: Is it by⁠—

Ally: No, he’s too dumb to mansplain anything.

Cindy: He’s the only guy that doesn’t get on my nerves.

Tina: Is he gay?

Val: When did I give you the impression that I didn’t like her?

Sai: When you said you didn’t like her.

Mojan: Did he raise his voice slightly when speaking to customer service? That turns me on.

Tina: I just ask a lot of questions and eat.

Brian: (turns to Joseph) You messaged me at 3 am in the morning.

Joseph: You messaged ME at 3 am in the morning.

Brian: Oh god.

Deshi: But once he started a fire, I was like, NO! Hugs are OFF THE TABLE!

My Friends Say Things