Author Archives: Irisa

Kimmy: Are you just running off with that?

Mike: So what? I do what I want. I want what I do.

Val: She’s genuinely bad at peeling eggs because she doesn’t give a shit.

Bessie: She’s doing her Masters in this fish called a chubsucker.

Junior: Why can’t we steal?

Me: Because that’s not what Christmas is about!

Andy: Maybe no plan is the best plan.

Sai: And I was like, bro, I don’t gots two months to stew berries.

Mojan: And I just read my Sean Connery joke and I can’t stop laughing. My boss thinks I’m crying again. But I’m just laughing.

Ivy: Dad logic: if the food has sand in it, I have no choice but to feed my children sand.

Val: WELL, NEVER-FUCKING-MIND!! HOW ‘BOUT THAT?!?!?

Me and Deshi: (unfazed, in unison) Okay.

Ava: I hope to one day answer the phone calls I pick up with, “talk to me.”