Val: Look at him, he has thick-ass knees.
Author Archives: Irisa
Brian: What is Razi short for?
Razi:
Brian: Razeen?
Razi:
Me: Razzmatazz.
Razi: Yes, that’s it.
Joseph: If we average out your weeping and my non-weeping, we end up with two normal people kind of crying.
Calvin: I used to have tortillas on hand all the time so I could make emergency tacos.
Kimmy: One time, a TV fell on my sister and I did nothing.
Razi: I don’t think that’s okay.
Me: I don’t think YOU’RE okay.
Me: Hehehe.
Sai: Hehehe.
Kimmy: Hehehe.
Me: Got ’em.
Ryan: (shows me an ad on consent at Oktoberfest) We saw this and thought of you.
Jenn: It says, “Only Ja Means Ja!”
Stan: (climbs up to a high place)
Me: Stan! No, we can’t lose you!
Joseph: No one said that when I climbed up!!
All: (silence)
Ashley: I’ve never met him before. If I don’t text you by midnight, I’m murdered.
Dad: What are those chickpeas like? Are they soft?
Me: They’re kinda firm but soft on the inside. Here, try one.
Dad: No! I don’t like them.
Me: What, why?
Dad: Because they’re ugly.
My Friends Say Things 