Val: This is how you know you’re in Russia. The paramedics were judging my dad for giving me wine and saying, “This wouldn’t be happening if she were drinking vodka.”
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: This is fine, this is fine.
Christine: Who you trying to convince?!?
Jess: They kicked her!
Laura: She should’ve kicked them back.
Jess: So you’re saying she should’ve kicked the kid back.
Vishakha: You know what we should do at the beach?
Vishakha: (in unison) Get coconut water.
Me: (in unison) Start a fire.
Vishakha: …oh.
Amy: She’s an hour and half late and she just Facetimed me.
Em: I like people that take me as I am, I don’t think I’m going to improve anymore.
Becca: If you died, I don’t know what I’d do.
Me: I don’t know what I’d do either.
Becca: You’d be dead.
Me: Like Kawhi?
Mike: Like Leonard?
Sai: What other Kawhi do you know?
Mike: I thought she was calling me cute in Japanese.
Christine: This person said they would give me maple syrup if I let them spend some time with my dog.
Me: You have a dog?
Christine: No.
Shonit: I’m sorry if I came off as creepy.
Me: You’re not creepy!
Shonit: I’m gay, so I’m not.
