Author Archives: Irisa

Ivy: I haven’t seen any Norwegian under 5’9″. I’m so shook.

Razi: Guys, imagine if we could make eggs.

Me and Deshi: WE DO.

Gari: Dude, cook for me. Please.

Me: Maybe.

Gari: You rude af.

Ava: Cake crumbs on lips. Look of the day.

Val: You know how I know God doesn’t exist?

Razi: Oh boy, here we go.

Val: Alligators.

Kimmy: I was upset because we went to Legoland and they were like, sorry you’re not under 12. And I was like yo, that’s ageist.

Sean: You know what I just got in an email? My parents were like bye, we’re f*cking off to Puerto Rico.

Val: Don’t commit federal fraud! Oh my god, what’s wrong with you?

Mojan: (sees my Instagram Story) This looks like an ad for lupus medication.

Fabienne: The fun times are over.

Me: No, no, no. No no no no no no.

Fabienne: No? Okay.