Amy: It’s on Netflix!
Melanie: I’m using my roommate’s cousin’s mom’s account. So.
Author Archives: Irisa
Jiwoo: Oh my god, please don’t stab me.
Jenny: He has insurance, don’t worry.
Jiwoo: Insurance doesn’t solve everything, okay?
Mojan: He was like, “I made plans for Valentine’s Day,” but Kobe died and it was going to be a helicopter ride.
(On the Super Bowl)
Teresa: I think J. Lo is performing with Shakira.
Lina: Shakira? Like the Hips Don’t Lie?
Teresa: (checks phone) Yeah, it’s Shakira.
Lina: What great lyrics. (chuckles) Her hips don’t lie. They don’t!
Andy: They do weird things.
Me: Like orgy weird?
Andy: One of the girls has a jar of her own tears.
Mike: (giggles)
Val: …ew.
Homeless man: (yelling) YO, PITBULL’S SICK! He’s not dead!!!
Me: (stares at mustache)
Ray: My eyes are up here!
Val: (reading out loud) “…constant queefing.”
Me: That could be the name of our band.
Em: Making friends, having fun. I could get used to this.
