Me: Apparently it’s bad luck if you cheers with water.
Andy: I don’t give a fuck.
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: Leave her alone, she can do whatever she wants!
Me: (turns to Jenny) I don’t know what you’re doing, but I support you.
Jenny: I don’t know what I’m doing either.
Dustin: I’m glad you don’t have real herpes.
Val: I told Stan that the worst part of having nails is not being able to pick my nose or teeth.
Me, Sai and Daniela: (silence)
Mojan: I ordered a dog couch that is a mini version of our couch and it still hasn’t arrived. Starting to grow concerned.
Vishakha: I had an orange while you were sleeping. I don’t know.
Melanie: Remember my Fashion Nova jacket?
Amy: It was UGLY.
Me: No?
Jess: It was rose gold. You were there.
Amy: She wore it clubbing. You were there.
Jess: You were there.
Amy: You were there.
Me: (jumps inside store) Oh my god! You’re still open!
Shopkeeper: Yeah, we’re open ’til 2, babe.
Ivy: Hey Siri, who made absinthe?
Ivy: (shows phone to me) Hilary Duff.
Ava: Three cheers for being dirt poor.
Ava: Hip hip, hooray.
