Winston: I feel like I wouldn’t want to rob someone in America with a knife because I’d be afraid they have a gun.
Author Archives: Irisa
Kimmy: I’m gonna be so hungover tomorrow, I’m just telling you guys that now.
Deshi: You had one drink.
Kimmy: I know.
Me: So you’re based out of Buffalo, right? How is that?
Melanie: (leans in and stares deeply into my eyes)
Melanie: Imagine Detroit but like, worse.
Razi: They were like, “Don’t ever come here again,” and I was like, yo I live here.
Val: This is how you know you’re in Russia. The paramedics were judging my dad for giving me wine and saying, “This wouldn’t be happening if she were drinking vodka.”
Me: This is fine, this is fine.
Christine: Who you trying to convince?!?
Jess: They kicked her!
Laura: She should’ve kicked them back.
Jess: So you’re saying she should’ve kicked the kid back.
Vishakha: You know what we should do at the beach?
Vishakha: (in unison) Get coconut water.
Me: (in unison) Start a fire.
Vishakha: …oh.
Amy: She’s an hour and half late and she just Facetimed me.
Em: I like people that take me as I am, I don’t think I’m going to improve anymore.
My Friends Say Things 