(On Post Malone)
Rachel: (shows me photo on Instagram) He does not look okay.
Me: Is he ever okay?
Rachel: No, he is not.
Author Archives: Irisa
Ray: So I have this bottle of wine in my fridge.
Me: Let’s pop it.
Ray: No, we’re going to stare at it and wonder what it tastes like.
Mojan: All I’m equipped for is motherhood and code. How could I not want kids?
Lina: I brought a boiled egg.
Teresa: That’s it?
Lina: A piece of chicken, I have.
Me: That was a very Yoda way of saying it.
Jenn: Everyone who knows Seattle downtown knows to stay the f*ck away from that particular McDonald’s. We’ve always called it McStabby’s.
Val: (points at stain)
Stan: I’m a dirty, dirty man.
Me: Everyone wants to do hot pot in this weather.
Cris: I am everyone.
Emily: My plan is if too many people clinking glasses for us to kiss, I wanna go too far and hardcore make out so no one wants to clink anymore.
Andy: Is it windy? I have to go outside soon.
Me: It’s the the popular R&B artist that I regard with great disdain due to his history of domestic abuse.
Me: I.e. it’s Breezy.
Sinyi: Sean doesn’t make sense.
Sean: I don’t need to.
