Me: Why are you hovering over her creepily?
Sean: HEY! If it’s one place I can hover creepily, it should be the safety of my own home!
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: Who needs a baby human when you can have a baby cat?
Rachel: THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’.
Ivy: OH you’re talking to me, I thought you were talking to yourself.
Me: And I was like, listen, I’m a mess.
Ally: As we all are.
Daryl: When the office has deactivated your pass amidst COVID-19, but you need to water your desk plant and now you’re scared it’s going to die. RIP Bulba.
Don: That’s a really big commitment. You’re a really good friend. I would never do that.
Ray: Anything and anywhere you want.
Ray: Except Harlem. That’s too damn far.
Teresa: (walks in hurriedly)
Me: Oh man, anything I can help with?
Teresa: (exhales) Make men have babies instead.
Dilsher: If you barf, I’m dropping you like a hot potato.
Sanila: Shut the fuck up.
Don: I’m a four, it’s out of eight so I’m halfway there.
Me: Living on a prayer!
Don: LIVING ON A PRAYER.
My Friends Say Things 