Mojan: So, I didn’t know how he dances. Do you know how he dances?
Me: Is it —(shuffles slightly)?
Mojan: You know the inflatable blow-up car salsa?
Author Archives: Irisa
Dustin: Is quarantine devolving us or revealing our true selves?
Me: Where’s the groom?
Ray: (laughs)
Don: I have a complicated order.
Me: It’s okay, you’re a complicated person.
Don: You’re right.
Justin: Yo, those grapes f*cked my throat.
All: Uhhhhh ohhhh….
Justin: They were just so sweet.
Cris: Think about what you just said.
Me: What! What were you all thinking? I was thinking coronavirus.
Ally: Props to JT for warning us against speaking “moistly.”
Don: She asks the right questions at the wrong time, which is why I like her.
Christine: They’re scarier because they’re smart. I’d rather date a fuckboy because they’re dumb af.
Me: Your brows look great!
Candice: Thanks, I paid for them.
My Friends Say Things 