Ivy: Are you twitching?
Iris: She’s chewing.
Me: I’M SMILING.
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: There’s a lot of dog poop around.
Kaili: Hopefully dog…
Dustin: And she went to a party and Leo DiCaprio was there.
Becca: How old is she?
Dustin: 26.
Me and Becca: Ooh.
Anthony Jr.: It’s SZA. Get with the times.
Anthony Sr.: How can I possibly with the times?
Me: It’s almost the end of the year.
Ivy: Oh, I thought you were gonna say end of the—
Kevin: Tencent?
Ivy: —the world.
Kevin: Oh.
Ivy: Oh.
Ivy: My horoscope said by next spring, I should be secure enough to start building wealth.
Me: Is it true in terms of numbers?
Ivy: Iunno.
Deshi: He went to Japan to search for kappas.
Me: That’s not right.
Sanila: It’s kinda nice a bug would want its final resting place to be your ear canal.
Becca: Do you remember her being there?
Me: Oh, I don’t know… I was too busy not having a developed pre-frontal cortex.
Deshi: He’s separated from his wife and they coparent their cat.
Me: I knew that was gonna be an animal and not a child.
