Dad: I don’t care what you do, as long as you don’t do bad things. It’s your life.
Author Archives: Irisa
Yung $ammi: This isn’t a goodbye, this is a “I’ll Instagram DM you later”.
Kaili: Usually, we flail until our problems go away.
Mojan: You can’t call it big d*ck energy when you can see his d*ck and it’s big.
Me: Guys are just dumb sometimes.
Sabrina: Eh, no. Not sometimes. Always.
Me: Well, cauliflower is on sale, 3 for $5 so you know what I’m going to be doing after work.
Yung $ammi: Wow, your life is so riveting.
Catherine: What’s 3 x 18?
Both: (looks at me)
Brittany: Why did we both look at you?
Me: 54
Me: It’s fine, you assumed correctly.
Me: Sometimes I wonder if everything will be alright.
Andrew: Yeah, sometimes I just want to join the circus.
Chris: My butt can never be contained.
Chris: I’m bootylicious, girl.
(Deep in the woods at night)
Quyen: So your friend is still lost and his phone is dead.
Andy: Honestly, it’s c’est la vie at this point.
My Friends Say Things 