Chris: I like your (points at eyelid) mascara. Makeup. Blush. Rouge.
Me: Eyeshadow.
Chris: Nailed it.
Author Archives: Irisa
Sinyi: New information, new decisions.
Linda: And I was like, I appreciate the honesty and I’m not surprised and I’m sad I’m not surprised.
(on Rae Sremmurd)
Jess: They were probably on drugs or something because they came out and were like, “OH MY GOD, THIS ENERGY” but no one was there.
(on Kristin Cavallari’s shitty jewelry line)
Lilly: You’re going to be eating your spam and your ear is going to fall off and you’re gonna be like, “shit.”
Peter: (turns to me) So, how’s your love life?
Daryl, Becca and me: (immediately chokes)
Daryl: Wait, how old am I? 23? 24?
Me: 24.
Daryl: 24.
Brittany: You do that laugh when you’re trying to hold it in. You need to stop, it’s so creepy.
Me: Just realized it’s ButterFREE because Ash set it FREE.
Chris: No, it’s BUTTERfree so he only uses margarine.
Beata: You’ll do great and we’ll reward you with noodles.
