Me: Ugh, Brett Kavanaugh.
Fabienne: Why would you say that. It’s a nice day.
Author Archives: Irisa
Kaili’s dad: Oh you guys have cocaine? Cool.
Maggie: I just know someone that reminds me of you. She’s like Geoff’s girlfriend’s – wait, I’m Geoff’s girlfriend.
Becca and me: (sings sad lyrics)
Sanila: I can’t fall asleep because my farts smell bad.
Sanila: I needed to interject.
Me: Is that hoe-y of me?
Timmy: No, it’s 2018.
Timmy: That’s my excuse for everything.
Iris: Where are those shot glasses I bought for you from Peru?
Kevin: Oh, okay!
Flora: Which one?
Me: This one.
Flora: Okay good, that one looks like a seagull.
Jenn: Yeah, just play the dumb card. Then they’re usually like, “oh she’s just book-smart,” and I’m like jokes, I’m not book-smart either.
Fabienne: You dodged a bullet.
Fabienne: You dodged a truck.
Fabienne: A bullet truck.
Fabienne: A bullet train.
Jeff: Well, any murderer in the city is gonna be close to you with THAT attitude!
