Irisa

Dustin: Would you be open to the idea of catfishing desperate tech boys for crypto and flipping the money right after you pocket it?

Dustin: Because not gonna lie. One of the more plausible money schemes.

Sinyi: One day, you’ll be signing a contract, and it’s called MARRIAGE, BITCH!!

Erin: As I heard Mike the Situation from Jersey Shore say on a promo video yesterday, “a smooth sea does not make a skilled sailor.”

Me: (reads church signs) Our Lady of the Assumption. That’s you.

Rui: HONESTLY.

Becca: Oh, I didn’t tell you guys this but recently, I almost died.

Sanila: Harry Styles really died [off].

Me: Maybe his hairline started receding and that was the end of his career.

Sanila: Harry no styles.

Andy: What was your old wallet before?

Me: This. (pulls out old coin purse)

Andy: (revolted) EW, YOU WERE USING THAT?

Linda: That store’s price tags are double digits but the quality is single digit.

Kaili: (to me) Don’t tumble, little one. Things will get better.

Brittany: No they won’t, adulting sucks.

Kaili: BRITTANY!

Jasmine: Wanna hear a funny story? I got drunk off kombucha last week.

My Friends Say Things