(checks Instagram)
Me: They both saw our stories!
Ashley: We’re winning! We’re winning!!
Author Archives: Irisa
Kaitlyn: Sometimes, it feels like life or death but it’s PR, not ER.
Me: Have you ever been sorted? Wait, did you read Harry Potter?
Andy: Of course. I AM A CULTURED MAN.
Me: Ugh, Brett Kavanaugh.
Fabienne: Why would you say that. It’s a nice day.
Kaili’s dad: Oh you guys have cocaine? Cool.
Maggie: I just know someone that reminds me of you. She’s like Geoff’s girlfriend’s – wait, I’m Geoff’s girlfriend.
Becca and me: (sings sad lyrics)
Sanila: I can’t fall asleep because my farts smell bad.
Sanila: I needed to interject.
Me: Is that hoe-y of me?
Timmy: No, it’s 2018.
Timmy: That’s my excuse for everything.
Iris: Where are those shot glasses I bought for you from Peru?
Kevin: Oh, okay!
Flora: Which one?
Me: This one.
Flora: Okay good, that one looks like a seagull.
