Me: Omg, I just got an ad for wallets…
Ivy: Yeah, I started getting ads for this disease which I don’t have, nor am I at risk for getting it.
Me: Maybe we should just start saying random things.
Ivy: (speaks into phone) BULLDOZERS.
Me: (speaks into phone) CONSTRUCTION!
Ivy: (speaks into phone) I should really harvest all this wheat!
Me: (speaks into phone) SAUDI ARABIA OIL MONEY.
Both: (chuckles)
Me: Watch me get arrested…
Kaili: Paul Bunion meets a lumberjack.
Maggie: Paul Bunion is a lumberjack.
Shiny: I got food poisoning, I’m never eating sushi again.
Mandip: Where did you go?
Shiny: It was……. in Scarborough.
Justin: Oooh..
Mandip: Ah.
Me: Girl.
Me: You have trouble sleeping through the night too? Yeah, it’s happening to so many of us. I think it comes from like, living with anxiety.
Timmy: Oh….. Uh no, I think for me, it’s definitely just jet lag.
Me: Yeah, I get restless so I have to take myself out on walks like a dog.
Amelia: Oh yeah, me too. Except my walks are, like, to that kitchen.
Cris: Like, what kind of ramen would have a hard-boiled egg? It should be soft-boiled. Like sorry, I was raised better.
Andy: I’m sad but I’m horny but I should be happy?? What is this mix of emotions??
Andrea: So they’re the same age?
Me: …her and her TWIN?
Andrea: ….yes, that would make sense.
Becca: I was like, why am I doing this? But then I did it anyways.
Cris: You’re only saying that because you hired her.
DJ: I HIRED YOU TOO!
My Friends Say Things 