(hears loud noise)
Becca: What’s that?
Me: That….. is a party.
Becca: What’s a party?
Author Archives: Irisa
Anviksha: Wine at nine is fine, sunshine!
Me: Wait, you’ve never had peanut butter?
Marcus: I’m allergic. I don’t die. Just vomit. Let’s move on.
Me: So apparently it’s Pisces season and Mercury’s in retrograde.
Andy: What do I do with this information?
(snooping in the fridge at an Airbnb party)
Me: Are they white?
Lil Stevie: Yeah.
Me: Yeah, I see Mill St.
Random: I feel attacked.
Random: ……what kind of Mill St.?
Me: Don’t be shady.
Timmy: Sorry, I was watching RuPaul’s.
Karishma: And look, he made her this mug! It’s not a very pretty mug, but how sweet.
Harry: Lindsay, are we doing shots tonight?
Holly: Harry, it’s 9:30 am. Calm down.
(At the vet, reading list of pets staying over)
Me: Is no one going to point out that there is an animal named Shutout?
Iris: Leave Shutout alone, they are doing their best.
Jenn B: I got an Americano Blanco.
Me: Ooh, what’s that?
Jenn B: It’s d e L i C i o U S.
