Ava: Welcome to California, where there is an entire section for dog strollers.
Author Archives: Irisa
Sean: This is me ten years ago.
Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Me: ARE THOSE TRANSITION LENSES?!
Sean: YEAAAHHH! Like a pedophile!
Fabienne: But then I was like, he’s so nice. He must be gay.
(sees video of a student residence in Waterloo)
Dustin: If I was a campus tour guide, I’d totally be transparent and and just be like, “Here is the birthplace of my feeling of inadequacy. With hard work and lots of tuition, it could be yours too!”
Don: Ally, this is an intervention. Why is your Uber rating shit?
Ally: Want to hang out on Sunday?
Me: Sure! Just let me know, my calendar is up to date.
Ally: Oh my god.
Me: I’m in Ravenclaw.
Cris: Yeah, that makes sense. And I’m not just saying that because of Cho Chang.
Dustin: Omg, I’m never drinking with Brits again. I don’t know how one bottle of wine turned into like, six.
Daryl: Four police.
Me: (turns around to see) They’re probably hungry.
Daryl: (simultaneously) For donuts.
Me: (simultaneously) FOR JUSTICE!
Ally: Is it grease or lip gloss? You’ll never know.
My Friends Say Things 