Cris: Custard filling is the best. CUST OR BUST!
Me: Ew….
Author Archives: Irisa
Dad: The sun during winter in Toronto might as well be like the light inside a refrigerator.
(on Facetime)
Me: …hello?
Anon: Sorry, I had to mute you because my poop was falling.
Note: The person requested that I post this specifically, but to remove their name.
Me: I don’t like to define it as a relationship. In my mind, it’s more accurately depicted as a severe lapse in judgement on my behalf.
Mojan: A relation-SHIT!
Sean: Okay Google, play happy music.
Google Home: Okay, now playing from a playlist named, “Old Sing-A-Longs”.
Sean: ….
(Fighter by Christina Aguilera starts playing)
Dustin: Believe in yourself like Soulja Boy believes in himself.
Dustin: Official new life motto.
Marcus: Are you Garfield?
Me: I do like lasagna.
Marcus: You look like you do.
Ivy: We got the sangria and it tasted like rotting fruit. We had to call the manager over and he was like, “Yeah, that’s just how it tastes.” And you know what he did? He gave us coupons for free chicken. Like, we’re vegetarians, you dick.
Mojan: I’m pro-ghosting. Like, don’t tell me why I suck because you’re wrong. Just ghost me.
(making popcorn)
Timmy: I don’t want this to burn, it’s a different kind of kernel so I don’t know how long to pop it for.
Me: Well…. our twenties ARE a time for trial and error.
My Friends Say Things 