Andy: This bitch. He says you’re the female version of me.
Author Archives: Irisa
Ava: They came over and we had tea, and played Wii games and got pizza and ice cream and read poetry and tried on my wig.
Ava: It was so splendid.
Kaili: I gave myself a boy cut and my mom told me my hair would grow back after I ate my dinner…
Kaili: It did not, in fact, grow back after I ate my dinner.
Calvin: If you name spiders, it’s less scary. Like maybe, the spider’s name last night is Chad. Chad is just trying to chill.
Karishma: The husband doesn’t complain.
Anviksha: WHY WOULD HE COMPLAIN?
Zoe: There’s a really funny interview with 2 Chainz where they’re like, “Do you always feel this pressure to wear two chains?”
Fabienne: She’s like… heteroflexible? So like mostly straight?
Bessie: That’s a thing?
Fabienne: That’s a thing.
(On Shake Shack vs. In-and-Out)
Mojan: Who the FUCK is voting for Shake Shack? I’m going to lose my mind. THIS is why the ice caps are melting.
Dustin: Why even chase girls for heartbreak when you can be a Toronto sports fan?
Mom: I need to learn where that purple yam potato man came from.
Me: What?
Mom: The purple guy that looks like a yam, the bad guy.
Me: ….
Me: OH, Thanos!!
My Friends Say Things 