Me: It’s Captain America!
Jiwoo: He’s so hot.
Me: He is.
Sean: I would lick peanut butter off his abs.
Jiwoo: I would drink sangria out of his bellybuttons.
Me: Why…. why are there plural….
Author Archives: Irisa
Brian: I’m just seeing so much of your thigh right now. It’s like a disturbing amount of thigh, I’ve never seen this much of it before.
Razi: Why? Why you looking?
Brian: It’s just coming out of the darkness…
Calvin: (singing) Give me a siiiiiiiiiiiign—
Me, Calvin and Bogdan the Uber driver: HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME
Kanu: My roommate’s weird too. She’s this 55-year-old woman and I don’t know… She, like, says things.
Sai: Can you not talk shit about your mom?
Me: It’s okay, it’s not forever.
Ally: Nothing is.
Me: Okay, is there anyone that ISN’T drinking?
Val: (audibly) Pppfffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttt.
Livie: DON’T TAKE A PICTURE OF ME! (poses)
Ivy: (sobs) Sorry, I just bought this onion and it’s from Farm Boy so it’s really fresh.
(sees disturbing image on internet)
Sinyi: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sinyi: AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sinyi: (offers) Want a candy?
Me: Yeah.
Winston: Today, a girl didn’t wear deodorant and I pretended not to understand something so I could draw on the whiteboard and sit in a different seat.
My Friends Say Things 