Stan: That’s something you brought to the team.
Me: What?
Stan: Belching.
Author Archives: Irisa
Val: I’m going keto for the month of October so I can stunt on my ugly cousins in Moscow.
Me: You be careful out there.
Ivy: YOU be careful out there. You’re in Toronto and I’m in Finland.
Ivy: Iunno man, the scariest thing I’ve seen all week was a man wearing a cowboy hat.
Calvin: Please don’t kill me. I’m, like, not even 30 yet. Please don’t kill me.
(looking for Uber)
Me: Is that a Jeep?
Kaili: Yeah, I think so.
Me: Yeah.
Poonam: ………………………that is definitely a Ford.
Me: (shows photo and laughs) Look at how high his socks are.
Daryl: I…. I-I wear…. (scoffs) …fuck you.
(on a dating app)
Razi: This girl’s name is Nay. I’m gonna be like, “damn girl, you look more like a YAY!”
Me: Yeah, he asked me what I was doing this weekend.
Cindy: You can say, “NOT YOU!” Haw haw haw.
(on creating social media content)
Me: I just don’t want there to be comments like—
Deshi: Make controversy, that’s engagement.
Stan: Did you see the way her eyes just lit up?
(on almond milk)
Tina: So apparently, the milk industry hates it when these companies use the word milk and wants them to use the term, “nut juice.”
