Yvonne: I actually have no interest in marriage. I say this as I officiated a wedding two weeks ago.
Author Archives: Irisa
Ava: Today, I’m trying a new men’s deodorant. I’ll keep you posted on thoughts, experience and overall recommendation.
Stan: Better safe than fired.
Don: It’s 2019, I identify as a chair.
Jess: Yo, so when we were in Halong Bay, we turned on the AC and it smelled like shit.
Jess: (leans in close to my face) PURE. SHIT.
Rui: With the amount of money they spent on their cars, they could’ve spent it on their face.
Dustin: I had Philip over for three days. Literally cannot be worse.
Dustin: Philip farted for five long seconds, walking past a bunch of randoms in front of a bar on our walk home. With me next to him. It literally cannot be worse.
Me: It’s Captain America!
Jiwoo: He’s so hot.
Me: He is.
Sean: I would lick peanut butter off his abs.
Jiwoo: I would drink sangria out of his bellybuttons.
Me: Why…. why are there plural….
Brian: I’m just seeing so much of your thigh right now. It’s like a disturbing amount of thigh, I’ve never seen this much of it before.
Razi: Why? Why you looking?
Brian: It’s just coming out of the darkness…
Calvin: (singing) Give me a siiiiiiiiiiiign—
Me, Calvin and Bogdan the Uber driver: HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME
My Friends Say Things 