Me: Whoa, Drunkard Noodle!

Fab: That sounds like a slur.

Fab: People say there are no dumb questions but they haven’t met Ronnie*.

*Name has been changed to protect the innocent.

Fab: If you see Toronto’s Midnight Runners, you could throw a stone and hit 90% of people who have their portfolio heavily invested in crypto.

Fab: Also, I finally stopped losing money on crypto.

Fab: Do I continue the blonde or am I healed?

Fab: I was very clearly gay, but one guy kept trying to twirl me. But I wasn’t budging, so I twirled him back.

Fab: Over the pandemic, she started offering Reiki.

Me: (face falls)

Fab: For dogs.

Me: (eyes widen)

Fab: Over Zoom.

Me: Is this the scandalous one?

Fab: Eh, when they’re rich, there’s always scandals.

Me: And what, be a LinkedIn thought leader?

Fab: Ew.

Me: Laos food is known for its sticky rice.

Fab: Didn’t you date a Laotian guy?

Me: I don’t blame you for thinking that but no.

Fab: And he was like, “Can I have a milk with ice?” So a milk.. on the rocks? That’s fucking psychotic. Unhinged.