Me: Laos food is known for its sticky rice.

Fab: Didn’t you date a Laotian guy?

Me: I don’t blame you for thinking that but no.

Fab: And he was like, “Can I have a milk with ice?” So a milk.. on the rocks? That’s fucking psychotic. Unhinged.

Fab: So I went on a group run—

Me: (recoils) Sorry, I’m not judging you, I’m just scared.

Fab: No, it’s okay. I’d judge me too. Anyways, I was thinking, damn I’m one of those people now.

Fab: And I was like, is this a rave or is this a flea market?

Fab: So apparently the guy AND the girl are DJs__

Me: (eyes glaze over and begins to dissociate)

Fab: Hey, HEY come back!! (snaps fingers) I know what you’re doing!

Me: I’m assuming they also go by they/them now?

Fab: No, she just cut her hair short.

Me: Oh yeah, how are your loud neighbours?

Fab: Did I tell you about the piss disk?

Fab: He has that leftist appeal because he bikes a lot.