Becca | My Friends Say Things

Me: Do you want me to host a Bachelorette dating thing for you?

Becca: First of all, do you even know any men? Like straight men?

Me: How dare you.

Becca: It’s—wait, I was gonna say it’s Friday but it’s not.

Me: It’s literally Tuesday. Wait no, it’s Wednesday.

Becca: Out of the three of us, you are the only one that can show your ass without being weird about it.

Me: Are you okay?

Becca: I keep finding meat crumbs on me.

Andy: Oh Becca, do you want to come with us?

Becca: Um, my head’s too itchy.

(At the club)
Becca: I turn around to tell you they’re playing Not Like Us but then I saw you being pulled away into the darkness.

Kayvan: She was so confused when you three were going in a room, she was like, where’s Rebecca’s partner?

Becca: We’re never beating the throuple allegations.

Becca: How did it get here?

Me: How do we all get here?

Becca: …birth.

Me: Oh, I immigrated.

Becca: I wouldn’t say I’m unconventional. Like, I’m pretty normal.

Me: (silently shifts gaze to Becca’s rubber frog-shaped shoes)

Me: As a person that—

Becca: Shits a lot?

Me: Well, I guess you could say that.

My Friends Say Things