Mojan: “Fat people falling?” Why is that an option on Youtube?
Becca: I don’t think cornbread’s a vegetable.
Timmy: Well, if he’s cute and hot and can care for you, what more can you ask for?
(reminiscing about playing outside during recess)
Jess: So one time in grade two, Tiffany and I found a jalapeno pepper.
Callie: What’s your favourite colour?
Francis: Plaid.
Callie: There’s a woman wailing in the background. Oh wait, she’s singing.
Kareen: She should find the source of the ants.
Me: I think eating cornmeal will kill them.
Jenny: Is it too heavy? Will they die of obesity?
Driving Instructor: Another tip: never go to someone’s house. You never know. He might have been a cannibal.
Ava: There’s everyone there. Children, mothers, hoes.
(on Blue Star Donuts)
Jasmine: LIFE CHANGING DONUTS I STILL HAVE DREAMS ABOUT THOSE DONUTS. There’s also voodoo but those are ok la. They just look like diabetes. Good for the grams but no Gucci for the body.
My Friends Say Things 