Iris: Wannabe thugs. The worst kind of thug.
Kareen: And now, the saxophone solo.
Ricky: ….what? That’s a piano, dude.
Ivy: He wrote a book about me! I was the antagonist!
Iris: So I joined the Anthropology Student Union and I’m the only sober one.
Me: Cats can’t taste sweet.
Brad: Maybe that’s why I don’t like kumquats.
Me: You’re not a cat.
(filming the guards at Buckingham Palace)
Jess: I’ll just use my camera so I can zoom in and it will still be high qual. It looks like they’re gangbanging but whatevs.
Me: Do guys notice if my mascara’s clumpy?
Brad: What’s mascara?
Mojan: Do you ever look in the mirror and go, “Wow imagine losing me, lol tragic”? ‘Cause I do.
Mojan: Sounds like they’re looking for a potato, not a woman.
Me: Does her hat say pizza on it?
Ava: No, it says Yeezus.
My Friends Say Things 