Phil: My heel kinda hurt.
Me: It says here that corresponds to the sciatic nerve?
Phil: It’s probably because I fractured my heel.
Me: I died that night.
Becca: Was that the time you woke up with calamari in your mouth?
Me: Yeah.
Poonam: Yep. It’s ride or die. Currently, I’m on the die part.
Me: Do you want hand cream?
Andy: Uh, it’s okay. I’ll be holding a hot dog soon.
Me: Whoa, Drunkard Noodle!
Fab: That sounds like a slur.
Kaili: She pulled the capricorn card!
Me: Jesus was a capricorn!
Kaili: I thought he was a carpenter!
Josh: We got this. We have no choice.
Gurjant: There’s no way she threw that up. It’s so intact.
Jess: She no chew!
Me: There’s this thing at work I want to finish—
Andy: Did someone say Moo Deng?
Me: No???
Fab: People say there are no dumb questions but they haven’t met Ronnie*.
*Name has been changed to protect the innocent.
My Friends Say Things 