Me: (throws paper into bin) YEESSSSS! IT WENT IN!
Sanila: That’s what she said.
Ava: Kris Jenner is life.
Mojan: Such a dream job, and I didn’t have to suck a single dick to get here.
Fabienne: Chinese mushrooms, Italian mushrooms, I’m not racist. I hate them all.
Sinyi: She’ll be yelling at you. Not because she’s angry, but because she’s Chinese.
Daryl: My grandma was in Florida during Hurricane Irma.
Sinyi: Did she have fun?
Daryl:
Me: …there was a hurricane.
Kristina: My mom’s like, you need friends. And I’m like, why?
Andrew: If anyone talks shit about me, I’ll kill them.
Philip: Ohhh honey… everyone around you will be dead then.
Ivy: Do we need a Tubshroom?
Me: What’s that?
Ivy: Tubshrooms! You’ve heard of them!! They catch the hair in the tub!
Me: We can get one of those silicone hair catchers that lie flat.
Ivy: THOSE DON’T WORK. I SAW IT IN A VIDEO.
Me: Was it an informercial for Tubshrooms?
Ivy:
Ivy: …yes.
Me: Is someone charging you $15.99 for a $1.99 thing?
Ivy: ACTUALLY, it is $15.88.
Becca: This tastes like that Body Shop… grapefruit thing…
Sanila: Why are you tasting body lotion?
My Friends Say Things 