Me: You’ll be so proud of me. I successfully parked backing in and didn’t have to adjust a million times.
Timmy: And the Nobel prize goes to…
Norman: Ya boi made it as an automated chat bot on the company website.
Wendy: Will not lie. Debated moving to Europe for better bag pricing. Then realized it’s pretty expensive there in general. And also, no T&T. Or dumpling restaurant variety. Can’t satisfy all sides of our desires.
Sinyi: You know what I’m talking about? You know which episode I’m referring to?
Sinyi: (leans in and whispers) ALL OF THEM.
Sanila: Why are people eating Tide pods? Is that just natural selection?
Me: They’re engaged!
Fabienne: Ohhh….. ewwwwwwwwww…
Ivy: I’m really confused as to how dad typed that in the group chat right now. He’s in the shower.
Colleague: She asked me the difference between Austria and Australia, and I almost had an aneurysm.
Jen F: I don’t like Mariah. She sounds like my tea kettle.
Kristina: I need to learn to write with my left hand.
Me: Wait, why?
Kristina: I want to write with both hands. I just want to be skillful.
My Friends Say Things 