Rui: Yeah, we’re just here doing like a sketchy Kijiji deal and it’s supposed to look like I’m monitoring things and umm… Hmm… Oh okay. So nobody’s pulled out a knife yet so we. Are. Oh. Kay.
Ethan: You’ll like Gouryella.
Me: Like Coachella but gory?
Ethan: ……………………………………………………………………………………no.
Kristina: OW!
Me: Hmmm?
Kristina: Oh nothing, just old age.
Me: (sings)
Me: You know what song I was singing?
Dad: That was singing?
Me: It goes backwards too!
Lauren: I only go forward.
Andy T: That’s why I’m selective with this type of shit cause I don’t know who be hoeing with whom.
Anonymous: I literally have to strange him because he’s so loud. It’s kind of a turn-off but it helps me last longer.
Daryl: So that’s it?
Me: Yeah, I said it was nothing bad though!
Daryl: Yeah well, when you say “emotional rollercoaster”, it doesn’t scream fun.
Claudia: LICK IT. LICK THE MEAT.
Kristina: Oh my god, I was lazy and it worked.
Me: I’m so happy for you!
Kristina: Yeah, this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Anyway, I think that’s enough work for today.
My Friends Say Things 