Daryl: Wait, how old am I? 23? 24?
Me: 24.
Daryl: 24.
Brittany: You do that laugh when you’re trying to hold it in. You need to stop, it’s so creepy.
Me: Just realized it’s ButterFREE because Ash set it FREE.
Chris: No, it’s BUTTERfree so he only uses margarine.
Beata: You’ll do great and we’ll reward you with noodles.
(Horn honks in office, mild confusion ensues)
Me: (runs over, looks at Angela)
Angela: I’m sorry. I cannot say. I am not an authorized spokesperson, please contact my PR firm. (hands me business card)
(following up on a lead with no reply)
Me: I hope he’s okay…
Sabrina: You’re sweet. You’re like, “I hope he’s not dead,” meanwhile I’m like, “WHERE IS HE?!?!?!?!”
Rui: Today, I care but one day, I won’t and tomorrow is the start of that one day.
Dustin: Yeah, Japango is love. Turns out, love is expensive.
Dustin: Wow that just made it sound like I was talking about a prostitute but
Dustin: You know what I mean.
Lilly: One time, Shirley and I went grocery shopping and we came back with only cake.
Andy: Did I tell you I got a bug bite on [my] knee in Italy?
Andy: And my body reacted with a massive boil/blister.
Andy: Anyway, I got a doctor to drain it and now I’m on antibiotics hahaha HAHAHA ha
Me: Oh my god. I want to ask if you’re okay, but clearly something is very wrong. Do you need help?
Andy: It’s fine.
Andy: IT’S FINE.
Andy: I’m fine.
My Friends Say Things 