Brian: Can we find a patio with shade?
Deshi: And AC?
Me: So like, indoors.
Anthony: Why are you working so hard still?
Restaurant Owner: I want money. I like money. No money, no honey, okay?
Calvin: BOOOOOO!
Me: Wait, why are you booing?
Calvin: I don’t know.
(Horrifying scene comes on TV)
Me: Aiyah! Don’t look, don’t look! (covers Dad’s eyes)
Dad: Don’t look? What age do you think I am?
Sai: What are the popsicle flavours?
Stan: Assorted.
Sai: But like, what are the flavours?
Me: Colours.
Razi: Holding in your sneezes is bad for you.
Me: Oh, those are my actual sneezes.
Razi: Those are your actual sneezes? Well, then.
Ray: (gets a pedicure)
Me: Do you feel like a new man?
Ray: The lady said I had beautiful nail beds. So yes. Yes, I do.
Iris: You know a hair stylist fucked up when they offer to curl your hair. Remember when I had a bob? She offered to curl my hair and I said, “What is there left to curl?”
Fabienne: I mean, he looked great. I was almost straight for an hour.
Kaili: He said my soup looked like instant noodles and there weren’t even noodles.
Maggie: He told me I look like a cruise ship director.
My Friends Say Things 