Val: You know how I know God doesn’t exist?
Razi: Oh boy, here we go.
Val: Alligators.
Author Archives: Irisa
Kimmy: I was upset because we went to Legoland and they were like, sorry you’re not under 12. And I was like yo, that’s ageist.
Sean: You know what I just got in an email? My parents were like bye, we’re f*cking off to Puerto Rico.
Val: Don’t commit federal fraud! Oh my god, what’s wrong with you?
Mojan: (sees my Instagram Story) This looks like an ad for lupus medication.
Fabienne: The fun times are over.
Me: No, no, no. No no no no no no.
Fabienne: No? Okay.
Sinyi: But I’m dealing with it!
Sinyi: (stands up) By making it other people’s problem, not mine!
Sabrina: That dog’s got a mohawk. I’m following him.
Me: (whispers to Sinyi) Let’s run away.
Sean: I CAN HEAR YOU.
Me: I almost cried. I wanted to, but I couldn’t.
Fabienne: You’re like constipated, but with crying.
