Author Archives: Irisa

Junior: Why can’t we steal?

Me: Because that’s not what Christmas is about!

Andy: Maybe no plan is the best plan.

Sai: And I was like, bro, I don’t gots two months to stew berries.

Mojan: And I just read my Sean Connery joke and I can’t stop laughing. My boss thinks I’m crying again. But I’m just laughing.

Ivy: Dad logic: if the food has sand in it, I have no choice but to feed my children sand.

Val: WELL, NEVER-FUCKING-MIND!! HOW ‘BOUT THAT?!?!?

Me and Deshi: (unfazed, in unison) Okay.

Ava: I hope to one day answer the phone calls I pick up with, “talk to me.”

Mike: Yo, the darkness is scary.

Sai: You work in the darkness.

Me: I was born in the darkness.

Mike: Okay, shut up, Bane.

Me: I love bread.

Sophia: And bread loves YOU, baby! And don’t you ever forget it.

Dustin: I got an electric scooter, thereby completing my transformation as a tech bro.