Val: I told Stan that the worst part of having nails is not being able to pick my nose or teeth.
Me, Sai and Daniela: (silence)
Author Archives: Irisa
Mojan: I ordered a dog couch that is a mini version of our couch and it still hasn’t arrived. Starting to grow concerned.
Vishakha: I had an orange while you were sleeping. I don’t know.
Melanie: Remember my Fashion Nova jacket?
Amy: It was UGLY.
Me: No?
Jess: It was rose gold. You were there.
Amy: She wore it clubbing. You were there.
Jess: You were there.
Amy: You were there.
Me: (jumps inside store) Oh my god! You’re still open!
Shopkeeper: Yeah, we’re open ’til 2, babe.
Ivy: Hey Siri, who made absinthe?
Ivy: (shows phone to me) Hilary Duff.
Ava: Three cheers for being dirt poor.
Ava: Hip hip, hooray.
Amy: It’s on Netflix!
Melanie: I’m using my roommate’s cousin’s mom’s account. So.
Jiwoo: Oh my god, please don’t stab me.
Jenny: He has insurance, don’t worry.
Jiwoo: Insurance doesn’t solve everything, okay?
Mojan: He was like, “I made plans for Valentine’s Day,” but Kobe died and it was going to be a helicopter ride.
My Friends Say Things 