Britt: In my hometown, a No Frills got in trouble with upper management for having too many frills.
Author Archives: Irisa
Mojan: He spends the day in golf apparel and he thinks that’s a sexy outfit.
Fab: My first thought when I got my raise was… I can buy a watering can now.
Me: My eyebrows are two whole different shapes.
Brenda: Yeah. They are. If I were sober, I would never say that to you but I’m pretty drunk, so I can say that.
Kelsey: Also, I’m messaging back the Soundcloud rapper.
Me: KELSEY. NO!
Kelsey: I know.
Sai: It’s a drinkable edible. So a drinkable.
Me: Do they accept strippers over the age of 25?
Timmy: Can’t say this thought doesn’t go through my mind once a week.
Qiqi: I smelled banana so I thought I was having a heart attack.
Jason: Is that a thing?
Me: No, it’s burnt toast and that’s for strokes.
Andy: I want some PITBULL energy, I want to DALE.
Janet: We are gathered here today—
Grace: Illegally.
My Friends Say Things 