Me: You a nasty bitch.
Razi: I know, I know.
Author Archives: Irisa
Dad: (in Chinese) We need to throw it out in the proper yard waste bags, otherwise we’ll get arrested.
Me: Did you get a haircut?
Kanu: No, it just fell off.
Me: Look at this cross stitch of a clown. Someone made that on purpose.
Callie: The perfect secret santa gift.
Me: (stares)
Callie: What?
(At the airport)
Ivy: Is someone bringing a whole ass TV?
Me: Is that Criss Angel?
Rebecca: Is that what Criss Angel looks like?
Me: No.
Fab: I heard a sound, I thought it was rain but it’s fine.
Me: Is it from the recesses of your mind?
Fab: …No, this building’s just old.
Ally: And he said dinner was on him and well, it should’ve been anyway.
Callie: My sister HAS slapped me with a loaf of bread before.
Fab: And I was, yep you look like someone who would leave skid marks.
