Becca: Salmon Lovers. Sounds like two salmon that are lovers.
Author Archives: Irisa
Kristina: Fake work is my favourite kind of work.
Me: He kissed me.
Stanley: In the puss?
Me: ……..on the forehead.
Sinyi: Your onion was terrifying.
Me: No, it wasn’t.
Mojan: Then why did you chase me around the house with it that one time?
Sanila: Drake is a fuckboy himself, unfortunately.
Ava: I don’t care what Drake is. He could be a lizard person for all I care. And I would still let him do whatever he wanted to me.
Steph: My autocorrect almost said “farming”. It’s like my phone thinks I’m more likely to farm than fart.
Becca: Cancelled my date tonight so I don’t have to shower.
Ava: My mom uses her business cards as toothpicks when she doesn’t have any.
Norman: IKEA BREAKFAST ISN’T $1 ANYMORE. WTF. I AM GENUINELY ANGRY. MY WORLD IS FALLING APART. EVERYTHING I KNOW AND LOVE HAS GONE DOWN THE DRAIN.
Dustin: It’s not a problem if it doesn’t kill you, right?
My Friends Say Things 