Me: He is garbage.
Sanila: The kind of garbage that isn’t biodegradable either.
Author Archives: Irisa
Becca: He looks like one of those people that would sleep on one of the MC couches. That’s the threshold of grossness. That says something about your character.
Chris: Okay, you know what me indulging is? In first year, I bought a box of Ritz crackers.
Ivy: It’s okay, we can talk another day, I — WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH sorry I just dropped a pickle.
Me: I just learned more than I should have about cockroaches. I feel like I will never feel safe or clean or truly happy again.
Ava: Why? Teach me too.
Me: Ava.
Ava: I want to live in a disturbed state. Tell me. I’m not a stable person.
Me: Kristina, never leave me.
Kristina: I won’t.
Me: I need to keep a part of you with me when I go.
Kristina: Oh, you will. This hate extends.
Me: Have you seen the new KKW contour sticks?
Becca: Yeah, they look like dildos.
Daryl: The only solution is for me to murder him, of course.
Ava: Your dad has side hoes. More than one phone = side hoes.
Kristina: I’m done emotionally for today. This fruit fly has put me over the edge.
My Friends Say Things 