(Static and muffled screaming over Wal-Mart intercom)
Sanila: This is how we die, Irisa.
Author Archives: Irisa
Dad: (turns on light) Hah! What are you doing?
Me: Dancing.
Dad: Clear the table.
Fiona: And then I was like, “OH MY GOD ARE THOSE TITTIES?????”
Nat: To a man.
Kristina: Listen, I really want Yeezy’s. That’s the only reason I signed up for the mailing list.
Michelle: We’re such queens, look at all these peasants.
Nat: Yeah, people were nice. No one touched us.
Julius: So does that mean they’re nice or we’re ugly?
Sanila: Your eyebrows are far superior.
Mojan: The girl at the counter had such flawless skin, I was like, ‘kay well I wanna be her so I’ll drink goat piss if that’s what she does. Luckily all she recommended was a serum.
Kristina: I’m just gonna be a hunk of beef today.
Me: That’s okay, I love beef.
Kristina: Yay.
Me: Are you guys …….wearing naan?
PK: Naan is the new accessory, my friend.
My Friends Say Things 