Lilly: Why did you offer this information if you were going to do nothing with it?
Shirley: Oh, because I do that often.
Author Archives: Irisa
Ava: I love your office! It’s so modern and pretty.
Me: It’s so big.
Ava: It’s like, chaotic neutral.
Me: So do you know Harry Potter?
Andrea: No.
Me: (quietly horrified) Oh..
Andrea: Just kidding.
Amanda: Recruiting new kiddies. They’re so enthusiastic, I love it. Crush their spirits when they come.
Andy: I made an anagram of your name.
Me: What is it?
Andy: Anus chair. (“anis chair”)
Me: …
Andy: Feel free to chair-ish it.
Andy: Pun intended.
(On sugar babies in San Francisco)
Dustin: The real ones go after founders. After accounting for inflation, the term for gold diggers here are aptly called, “founder hunters”.
Ryan: My mom is very impressed with my rapping.
Lilly: How did he do it? Is it because he’s a white man?
Me and Shirley: Mmhmmmm.
Poonam: We don’t have charm.
Kaili: Hey! Speak for yourself! (looks around) …right?
Ivy: Yeah, I’m going to my friend’s birthday thing tonight.
Me: WOW you’re socializing!
Ivy: SHUT UP, I’m not happy about it.
