(reads cover of Bloomberg Businessweek)
Brittany: Oh yeah, I guess it has been 10 years since the meltdown.
Me: But only one week since mine!
Both: (high five)
Author Archives: Irisa
Angela: And you’ll have to send the note early in the morning. Every day.
Me: (starts laughing)
Angela: Including weekends. And holidays.
Me: (laughs harder)
Angela: I’m not joking.
Angela: Stop laughing.
Timmy: EW, don’t call him Wagyu beef, he’s more like flank steak.
Becca: So how’s your life going?
Daryl: Can’t complain, still alive.
(Child screams in restaurant)
Me: Same.
Kaili: I can relate.
Chris: I like your (points at eyelid) mascara. Makeup. Blush. Rouge.
Me: Eyeshadow.
Chris: Nailed it.
Sinyi: New information, new decisions.
Linda: And I was like, I appreciate the honesty and I’m not surprised and I’m sad I’m not surprised.
(on Rae Sremmurd)
Jess: They were probably on drugs or something because they came out and were like, “OH MY GOD, THIS ENERGY” but no one was there.
(on Kristin Cavallari’s shitty jewelry line)
Lilly: You’re going to be eating your spam and your ear is going to fall off and you’re gonna be like, “shit.”
My Friends Say Things 