Me: He had a dad bod, though.
Ava: Ooooh, yeah.
Me: What?
Ava: There isn’t a part of you that’s like, “Oh yeah, jiggle?”
Me: (laughs uncontrollably)
Ava: I have made a terrible mistake.
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: Okay, that will be our backup plan.
Karishma: …
Me: …
Karishma: But then what is our MAIN PLAN?!?!
Rebecca: I’m a Sagittarius.
Nazariel: (loud gasp)
Rebecca: I know. It’s a lot.
Me: Just out of genuine curiosity, why do you still talk to her?
Andy: I talked to her recently cause I was “curious.” A curious cat extracting her wack perspectives.
Steph: I have a Taurus [symbol] behind my ear.
Me: I’m a Pisces, so apparently I cry a lot.
Steph: Yeah, I believe that.
Me: You know what will never be a mistake? Chicken fingers for dinner.
Marcus: Not if you’re a chicken.
Candice: Another day, another session of me hiding from my work in the bathroom.
Ava: Finished the pint of gelato I bought for myself yesterday. I’m ashamed.
Ava: But also not. It was good.
(On RuPaul’s Drag Race)
Christina: It’s part of the cultural zeitgeist. Get with it.
Sanila: My diet now consists of bagels, hash browns and chicken fingers thanks to stress and anxiety. Dilsher says I have the diet of a 12-year-old living on the streets.
Sanila: I am okay with that.
