Salon Assistant: (washing my hair and discussing life) …if we perish, we perish.
Me: Dayum… the words of a 21-year-old.
Tag Archives: Misc
Homeless man: (yelling) YO, PITBULL’S SICK! He’s not dead!!!
Anthony: Why are you working so hard still?
Restaurant Owner: I want money. I like money. No money, no honey, okay?
Uber driver: (rolls down window and shouts at neighbouring car) My music is better!
Random girl: Um, I don’t want you guys to be mad at me, but I’m pretty drunk right now.
(Lining up for pizza)
Man in Car: (shouts) ALL THIS FOR PIZZA?
Line: Yeah.
Man in Car: HOW MUCH?
Line: $3.
Man in Car:
Man in Car: ……..oh fuck, pull over, pull over.
Random Guy in Elevator: Cool pants.
Me: Thanks, they were $14. And they have pockets!
Random Guy in Elevator: Sweet.
Me: Hey, do we have any bandaids?
Colleague: No, we don’t even have a first aid kit. Apparently, it’s a liability.
Me: Wait, isn’t NOT having one a liability in itself??
Colleague: (leans in, loudly whispers) THIS PLACE IS A SHIT SHOW.
Colleague: Don’t put that on your blog.
Rando: (sees me) LOOK EVERYONE, IT’S YOKO ONO!
Other guy: On behalf of white people, that was racist and I apologize and you would ruin more than just John Lennon.
Driving Instructor: Another tip: never go to someone’s house. You never know. He might have been a cannibal.
My Friends Say Things 